All you have to do is head 90 miles west of Las Vegas and you'll find the Alien Cathouse, a new establishment that aims to cater to the geek who's always wanted to sleep with a green-skinned slave girl, a pointy-eared dominatrix or, basically, a woman who will take currency from a client in exchange for sex ... and not call him a nerd in the process.
Oh, I know: Not a day goes by where you don't stop and think "Man, the only thing that could make the movies I love better would be if all the characters were sporting Tom Selleck's moustache. Your pleas have been heard ... and answered!
Idle hands are the devil's workshop, my grandmother used to say. But sometimes, the devil's workshop is manned by idle geeks who have a message to send to the world and have found the perfect medium: the road sign.
OK, so no one really expected the government to come out and say "By the way, we've been hiding aliens in Nevada for 70 years and laughing at you for suggesting we were lying," right? That's not happening, but the government is officially responding to a pair of public petitions for full disclosure of any and all alien contact.