J.K. Rowling wrote a new short story -- ABOUT HARRY POTTER ZOMG

The Boy Who Lived is back ... very, very briefly. 

J.K. Rowling has been pluggin along and filling out her most popular series through her website, Pottermore, for a fair spell now. But if you go there looking for more of Harry, Hermione and Ron, you'll be out of luck.

Until now! Sort of.

J.K. has written a short story that takes place after the events of The Deathly Hallows. It is the first time that has happened since the book's release in 2010. But there's a catch -- the short takes the form of a gossip column written by witchy journalist Rita Skeeter.

So what's the story actually about? Well, it's basically just reporting on the Quidditch World Cup. Of course, the match just so happens to be attended by Dumbledore's Army. Seems like a perfect time to dish some gossip on everyone's favorite witches and wizards!

You should read it yourself, but here are a few bullet points:

  • Harry has a "nasty cut over his right cheekbone."
  • Harry and Ginny's marriage may or may not be on the rocks.
  • Harry may have, at one point, had a tryst with (wait for it) Viktor Krum(!)
  • Ron's going bald.
  • Neville and his wife are alcoholics.
  • It's probably important to remember that Rita Skeeter is not always the most reliable source. Still -- Harry and company were actually mentioned post-Hallows! Maybe this is just the beginning?

Oh, and, if you're wondering about Hermione, we offer this gem:

Does Hermione Granger prove that a witch really can have it all? (No – look at her hair.)

(via Uproxx)

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