V/H/S: Viral $9.99
For the uninitiated, the V/H/S movies are each an anthology of short horror stories with a shell story that loosely connects them all. The first two are pretty solid. This one? Ugh. Let's just go through each story, one by one. Titles are my own.
A guy wants to make a viral video and his girlfriend magically disappears while he is taping a police chasing an ice cream van. This plot was brought to you by when your teacher writes "See me after class" in red pen on your book report. Seriously, it makes no sense and does nothing to connect the other stories.
Dante the Magician
It's about a magic cape that is real magic, but needs to eat people in order to work. It feels more like an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark for grown-ups (and not very bright ones at that) than a part of a VHS anthology. There's a good guy gone bad, a lovely magician's assistant with an abusive boyfriend, and a twist ending that literally anyone who has ever seen even five seconds of any horror movie ever will see coming. It's paint-by-numbers horror. Boring, trite, and only worth it for one scene where a magician fights off a SWAT team to gory effect.
In which a man opens a door to a parallel world and discovers an exact duplicate of himself. Or does he? As the seeming duplicates swap worlds for fifteen minutes, the differences between their respective universes become increasingly apparent. If that sounds good, it is. Almost. There's one uh...thing about this story that um...I'm just saying it's an acquired taste. You'll know it the moment that you see it.
Demon genitals. Sorry, it slipped out.
Horrible skater teens go to Tijuana, run afoul of a satantic cult, and help them raise a demon. Most of the skaters die. The cult are the heroes of the picture.
If you must see this to complete your V/H/S viewing, go for it. But I wouldn't recommend watching it sober.