Let's be clear: Last Days on Mars is actually a good movie. If you watch one film from this list, please make it this one (right now, it's streaming on U.S. Netflix.) In all, the shots were stunning and the acting moving, particulary considering the threadbare budget. It's just too bad the subject matter - space zombies - is so downright silly.
The main thing we can't get our heads around is this: Even tough zombies really aren't that tough. They're as dumb as they are dead. What makes all these classic undead films exciting is the sheer number of zombies the heroes must battle. So, how much drama could there be about a space station with, like, six people?
That's not to say this movie is devoid of embarassing moments. During the initial zombie attack, a victim hits the emergency button on a space station. We're not entirely convinced that these actually exist, and we can see why: Hitting the button makes the regular lights turn off, and replaces it with alternate flashes of red strobe and darkness. We're pretty sure that would make it impossible for us to get anything done during an emergency.
You'd think that a monster movie that involves a dead human body couldn't exit on a barren planet. That's why this film has to open with astronaut explorers dying in bafflingly contrived ways (one simply has a fissure open up beneath him, the other just "disappears" and reappears as a zombie).
While watching this film, we couldn't help but feel bad for, of all things, the zombie-causing fungus. Here you are, a fungus with the amazingly crazy ability to resurrect the dead, but you have to spend your existence on a desolate planet with absolutely nothing to resurrect! If a tree falls in the forest, and then gets resurrected by a fungus, does it really make a sound?
Another distraction is that the sinister bacteria somehow makes people's flesh rot immediately. Normal zombie movies have undead with rotting flesh because they've been in the ground for a while. But these corpses on Mars go from smooth-skin to rotting flesh in a matter of minutes. It was like the filmmakers decided audiences wouldn't understand what a zombie is without facial necrosis, like we'd get confused and think the astronauts died, came back to life, and are now just really, really angry.
In the end, a potentially-infected astronaut decides to wait it out instead of heading into the main space station. His decision is supposed to be interpreted as noble, but we found it kind of dumb. Couldn't he just radio in and say, "Hey, while I'm here waiting, could you just maybe drop a load of anti-bacterial soap nearby so I can give it a try? You know, just in case?"