Apparently, there are creatures from space on the government take. Thanks, Obama!
On March 4, President Obama gave a run-of-the-mill speech to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. What made the event notable, however, was that there were space aliens in attendance! Not only that, they worked for the president in the Secret Service. According to a now-removed YouTube account (conspiracy!) there was a shape-shifting extraterrestrial (or robot, possibly) keeping an eye on the crowd. At one point, in fact, the creature transformed into something almost reptilian. Shocking!
Well, seeing as this is very serious business, an inquiry was sent regarding the matter to the National Security Council for an explanation. Chief spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden had this to say.
I can’t confirm the claims made in this video, but any alleged program to guard the president with aliens or robots would likely have to be scaled back or eliminated in the sequester. I’d refer you to the Secret Service or Area 51 for more details.
Damn you, sequester! Is there nothing you won't ruin? Here we finally having some totally incontrovertible evidence that aliens exist, can shape-shift and wear dapper suits, and they aren't in the budget?! These economic hardships have never been so heartbreaking.