Sure, Doctor Doom is a megalomaniacal dictator who, quite literally, rules Latveria with an iron fist, but have you ever heard of a citizen leaving Latveria? It might be because Victor doesn’t allow them to leave, but it’s equally likely that the dude’s just kept the unemployment rate low. Plus, he’s really good to gypsies, so he’d have the downtrodden of America COVERED.

Not only would Ben Grimm be the first Jewish president, he would be the first Jewish president made of orange rock! Also, Ben don’t brook no nonsense. He’s a straight shooter. Everybody loves no-nonsense straight shooters – especially the people who live in those square states in the middle of the country.

You might think that, of the Wonder Twins, Jayna is the way to go, what with her ability to turn into any animal, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Zan is the one who has known struggle. He has seen defeat at the hands of an evil sponge… but he’s learned. He knows how to face certain doom and win, even with only the ability to turn into a bucket of ice as his defense. Isn’t that exactly what our country needs?

Now, maybe having a presidential figurehead with a much more intelligent vice president hasn’t worked so well in the past, but that’s only because Ben Endlund wasn’t involved. The Tick’s battle cry is “Spoon!” Arthur’s? “Not in the face!” They’re not just a power team, they’re THE power team.

Iran’s got nukes, there are riots in Libya, the economy is in the toilet, but no one’s talking about the real issue—robot apocalypse. Magnus can kill a robot with his bare hands. Know anyone else who can do that? Yeah, I didn’t think so …

Sailor Moon has got a talking cat and impossible hair, and she’s going to be Empress of the Moon eventually anyway. Plus, Tuxedo Mask can be first man. She’s got a time-traveling daughter, too, but, much like Ann Romney, it’s best not to show her too much.

Let’s face facts. Superman would make a terrible president. He’d be so busy trying to do everything at once that he’d never see anything to completion. So if Bizarro is the opposite of Superman, then it stands to reason he’d be the perfect president. Feel free to wipe your blown mind off the screen at any time.

Yes, of course Batman is on the list, but with a twist! There is no way for Batman to be president unless it’s the Adam West version. Think about it. Who do you want? A broody maniac who grumbles incomprehensible things about vengeance and the night, or someone who can do the batusi? Bonus points for past experience as the mayor of Quahog.

Intergalactic overlords may sound not great when you think about it, but who cares? Loki’s got the fangirl vote! Tom Hiddleston will just use the power of his manly jawline and refined cheekbones to get whatever he wants. We might be his slaves, but let’s face it, who’d complain, really?

Wonderella may be only a web comic character, but she’s the only person on this list to successfully avoid global domination from alien invaders by pointing out that our planet is already sapped of its resources, wartorn and basically useless. It’s about time we had a pragmatist in the White House.

He may be a crazy villain with a horrifically deformed face, but at least Harvey Dent is bipartisan, right? He’ll show the Repubs and the Dems how to resolve their differences. All it takes is the flip of a coin.