Jewel Staite: Firefly's Kaylee vs. Stargate's Keller—who'd win?

If you like Jewel Staite as Kaylee from Firefly and Serenity and Dr. Jennifer Keller from Stargate: Atlantis, you'll love the REAL Jewel Staite! That's why we're so pleased she's agreed to join us regularly here at Blastr to answer your questions and share whatever happens to be on her mind.

Dear Reader Who's Probably Forgotten About Me Now:

Them was a lotta caps!

So yes, I've been super scarce. It's embarrassing really, all this flitting around the world I've been having to do, for both personal and professional commitments.

Maui for the holidays was all personal, mostly because of the personal beef I had to pick with a mai tai (or ten), followed by an incessant inquiry on just how many surfers it takes to screw in a lightbulb ... Man, oh man, is that a whole 'nother blog. Maui!

But more importantly, I want to tell you what I spent the rest of last year doing, 'cause I'm rather stoked about it, guys. My pal Martin Gero from the good ol' Stargate: Atlantis days wrote six amazing episodes of a little show that had no name for the better part of 2011. But we can now safely say it's called The L.A. Complex, a gritty, edgy, funny, sexy, all-too-real TV series about the goings-on behind the scenes in Hollyweird. Sometimes it hits so close to home, it scares the Versace right off me. But that's what I love about it.

I play a sneaky little vixen named Raquel, a slightly past her ingenue days, a former child star who's itching to get back up to the top and will do just about anything (anyone?) to get there. She's fierce and maybe a teeny bit mental. And I love her. If you're lucky enough to live in the great white Canadian north, you can catch The L.A. Complex on MuchMusic every Tuesday night at 9, but for those of you living in the US and A (it's never too late for a Borat reference!), you can see it on The CW later this year.

And you'll want to, trust me. One word: spaceships.

Okay, there are no spaceships this time, I lied. Lemme try again.

One word: pleather. Just as good?

But what I'm really here for is to answer your questions, as per usual. And some of you are out your minds.

Was there ever a part you really wanted to get? Or one you wished you stayed away from?

Yes. And ohhhhh, yes.

Have you ever done or will you ever do nude scenes?

If I say yes to the former, will you watch The L.A. Complex? Honestly, I'm not opposed to them in general as long as they're not completely gratuitous, and if they make sense and carry the story forward. Having said that, I prefer showing a side boob/cheek than the whole whammy. Basically, I'd rather do something half-assed. No pun intended. Oh, who am I kidding ... Pun always intended.

If you were a stalker, would you be any good at it?

That is a question for Channing Tatum. CHANNINGILOVEYOU

Would you rather be attacked by one horse-sized duck, or twelve duck-sized horses?

I'm worried about you, Morena.

If you were a fruit, what kind would you be and why?

Ever heard of a durian? It's got one heck of a thorny husk, but once you crack it open, it's quite soft and sweet on the inside. It's an acquired taste. Furthermore, it's known as the "king of fruits" in Southeast Asia. And you know how I feel about being likened to royalty.

Kaylee vs. Keller, the ultimate death match: Who wins?

That's kinda like saying "My Little Pony vs. Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks: Who wins?" But I think it's safe to say Kaylee's friends fight dirtier. So, Kaylee. (P.S.: They also have a cooler ship. I don't care if it doesn't go under water. Think Atlantis can pull a Crazy Ivan? I don't frigging think so.)

What's your beauty routine? You haven't aged a day!

Well, so glad you asked! I'm fanatical about moisturizers and eye creams and facials and all those other freaky things vain people do. Drink water, wash your makeup off, get lots of sleep, blah blah blah. Or just take vacations and treat yourself and laugh a lot. Question for you: What's your address so I can send you the check I owe you?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the species that won the race for global dominance had not been us, but woodchucks?

...... Is this Adam Baldwin?

What's your favorite comfort food, both homemade and gourmet?

If you're a reader of Happy Opu (and if you're not, you're dead to me), then you know I'm a big fan of comfort food. I've never met a bowl of pasta I couldn't take down, and me and a meatloaf be likethis. But my very favorite gourmet comfort food would have to be the individual lobster pot pie from Michael Mina in Las Vegas. I may have pounded the table with my fist in blissful outrage with every bite of that stupid pie. I dream about it. Almost as much as I dream about Channing. And as far as homemade goes, I make a mean butternut squash four cheese macaroni. Guys, I'm sort of a dream girl.

What's your favorite thing about Vancouver?

If you've missed last year's news, I've recently moved back to Vancouver, the place of my birth, my subpar education, my dreams, my aspirations, my first fake ID ... What!! Mom, I'm joking! Hahahaha!! I love Vancouver. Every time I'm away for too long, I forget just how beautiful it is. And then on the way into the city from the airport, the downtown core appears with those ridiculously pretty mountains behind it, and I swear my heart flutters. Cheesy, but true. It's laid back and cosmopolitan all at the same time. We've got crazy good restaurants, hot yogis, beaches, ski hills, even our very own wine country a few hours away. Plus, actresses who answer your questions and stuff. I be here, too.

That's all she wrote for now ... Check in with me on the old Twitter for our next rendezvous, dahlings. Muah.