Alien Fetus in a Jar: The seller assures us that the buyer can "add food coloring for a dramatic effect." Which really assures us that the original product is underwhelming.

UFO Detector: Buyer beware: "It is not 100% guaranteed by the manufacturer, due to the fact that the propulsion systems of UFOs are not the same." Aliens should make a spaceship that's powered by extremely shoddy human camera work.

Galvanic Magneto Inducer Bracelet: According to the seller, these are for "increasing the potential power of the transpositor." So, for matter transposition, is the buyer supposed to stick their hands in a fax machine?

Vampire Mind Control Pendant:: Advertised as a vampire mind control pendant, the seller oddly promises "Instant energy!!! Weight loss, decreased appetite." Then again, we can't recall any morbidly obese vampires.

Flying Car from 1956: The seller assures us this has been used and claims it "can be converted from a plane to a car in just five minutes." It fails to mention that it can be converted to a submarine in seconds, if you crash into a lake.

Time Machine: The seller informs us that "I found this machine under my house while I was remodeling the bathroom." Someone must've swallowed a bunch of watches and pinched out a time machine.

Steampunk Pendant with "Flux Capacitor": "What magic will this unique pendant bring to your life?" the seller ponders. We're not sure, but we think if your heart beats faster than 88 miles per hour, the flux capacitor activates. That's not magic, that's a pacemaker.

An Image of E.T. Baked into a Tortilla: The seller tells us that "this unique one-of-a-kind rarity would make a great gift for the collector in your life, to become the main showpiece." Now they can finally replace that Drew Barrymore bust made out of melted Reese's Pieces.

Haunted gold Elvis Million Dollar Bill: "I gave some magickal bills to my granddaughters, and they have been using them," the seller rambles, "my eldest Granddaughter, got married to her High School sweetheart, is now pregnant." If that's the magna cum laude member of their family, it's hard to see any supernatural forces at work.

Haunted Magical Time Machine: Oddly, the seller assures us in triplicate, "You can read other human's mind (mind reading will be a cinch), you will know what other human is thinking." So, if we are to understand this correctly, because one time travels, one therefore can obtain the power to read minds? That didn't even work on Lost.

Perpetual Motion Holder: The seller advises, "this is truly a very unique opportunity for the serious." If you're serious about perpetual motion, or at least about having a good place to hold it, place a bid.

Haitian Witch Doctor Doll:: The seller boasts, "many reports of visions and black-outs while holding it." Perhaps it has a secret chamber for alcohol.

Machine that Makes Energy from Gravity: "33 years of hiding out is all over for me and all my chrildran are as old as I was when E.L.S.A. was born and people tryed to kill me over E.L.S.A.... End of a true and short story backed by a police report filed in Las Vegas," the seller cries. Why is the seller pushing this in Vegas? Are all the fat tourists an excellent source of gravity?

"Darth Vader" Made from Recycled Parts: The seller explains that this is "made out of recycled metals, bolts and parts." This would probably be a great gift for any Star Wars fan with blurry vision.

The Moller Skycar m400: The owner of this air car company put one up for sale on eBay. This failed to meet the reserve price of $3,500,000, which shows commuters would prefer sitting in traffic over airborne death.